December 22
Archibald Campbell in his journal
. . .
I got lost this week. I’m not sure what happened. I lost touch with my inner world. I had trouble meditating. I didn’t feel like journaling. Couldn’t paint. I fell into a pit of self-pity and darkness. I’m not sure why.
Lately, when I get lost, I find myself turning to an ancient parable from the Indian Upanishads – the one about two birds sitting in a tree. One, a bird named Desire, eats fruit and chatters while the other looks silently on. The silent bird is the deep silence in each of us, the quiet place from which our inner power builds. I call that second bird Serenity.
The first bird is quick to take offense, quick to anger. Quick to find fault. It is in constant search for reasons to be unhappy, for reasons to be disappointed. It always wants more, even though it isn’t sure of what or why. It is always hungry for the admiration of others. Easily amused and easily distracted, its mind races from one thought to another, one desire, one fear, one perceived threat to the next. It is constantly overtired and stressed.
The second, Serenity, looks on ignoring the first bird. It sees the big picture, the long-term picture. It discerns the difference between real threats and illusion. It doesn’t make fast decisions. Its power comes, in part, from the pause between stimulus and response. Before action is taken, before words are spoken, everything is thought through. It distrusts emotion, especially its own. It is in constant search for the long term good, for peace and harmony.
When I get lost, as I did this week, I ask myself if my thought patterns more closely resemble those of Desire or those of Serenity. Inevitably the answer is the former. I’m lost because I’m absorbed by petty fears and preoccupied by unfulfilled desires. I’m hurt because others aren’t giving my work the respect I think it deserves. When I realize that, I retreat into quiet, interior worlds and ask to talk to Serenity. My friend.
The guidance is always the same. Slow down. Relax. Engage in creative work no matter how little you may want to. Give your heart to it. Do creative work in the most uninhibited, relaxed way you can. Don’t worry about the result, don’t worry about what others may think. When you do creative work, you cross the threshold into Sacred Space. Serenity is there to welcome you.
The most important question to ask Serenity is: “Should any of my current preoccupations and fears be taken seriously. Long term are any likely to adversely affect my life and work?” The answer is almost always, “No,” or “You can’t affect the outcome so don’t worry about it. And the things you think you want won’t, in the long term, improve the quality of your life. In fact, they may detract from it.”
Serenity just wants peace and quiet so that it can think. So that it can relax into the company of its own mind. And it wants to walk (or fly) in beautiful nature.
. . .
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Very powerful. I am so grateful for this. Thank you.
Also so serenity can't think!